


Red Strings and Gym Badges

by SylphOfDoom



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Friendship/Love, M/M, Multi, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Sadstuck, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-05
Updated: 2013-04-24
Packaged: 2017-12-07 13:21:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/748961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SylphOfDoom/pseuds/SylphOfDoom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is Gamzee Makara, one of your best friends moved away when you were 6 years old and you never saw him again.<br/>Now you're 17 years old and things have changed, and the boy who once meant a lot to you is nothing but a blurry memory in the back of your mind, but when a new student comes to town something begins to awaken inside you; something that shut down a long time ago. Is it possible this guy is a little more than just a new kid, or did you just have too much sopor with your Faygo?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Starter

**Author's Note:**

> SOOO this is my first time trying to do fanfic ;v; so comments and suggestions are just fine, so if you want my tumblr is: my-matesprit-is-a-timelord.tumblr.com :3 i don't bite  
> I couldn't help but hear a little honk noice every time i wrote a :o) for Kurloz...huehuehue...and I wanted to incorporate some pokemon into this
> 
> Also, the way I picture human Tavros as a kid is this chubby cutey with fluffly dark hair, like Mituna's hair pretty much...which is part of why neither Gamzee nor Karkat can remember who he is, I mean, not only has it been like 11 years but also the difference between 6 year old babu Tavros and 17 year old Tavros is day and night :P
> 
> ALSO:  
> Advisory is like saying homeroom :]

* * *

_Eevee used bite!_

The unholy 8bit tune rung in your ears as you witnessed your pokemon take a big blow from you best friend’s attack. “aw snap…”

 _  
Gastly used shadow ball!_

  
Your Gastly and his Eevee were a pretty even match, but Tavros was feeling lucky today, and by the looks of how your battle was going, he was right. You were only allowed 3 pokemon in battle; your Slowpoke and Bulbasaur were already gone, and so were his Charmander and Tauros, but he probably took care of his Eevee more than any of his pokemon, even his starter, which, let’s be honest here, isn’t a very common thing to do. Your starter is your baby, your prodigy, your chosen one when all seems lost. 

Before you knew it the battle was over, and the little fluffball was victorious against your purple ball of gas – you loved your purple ball of gas anyway – and you sighed, “you win again Tavbro. Man, you’re either one lucky butt when it comes to pokemon, or you’re actually that good.”

Tavros laughed, and it showed the gap where one of his front bunny teeth was missing, “Well, our pokemons get automatically put on the same level by the game when we battle, so, I guess both? I mean…I am pretty good too!” 

You smiled at your friend. You loved this, you loved playing with him, having fun together and having animal crackers together; Tavros was your best friend, but he wasn’t your only best friend, because you had 2. Karkat was your other best friend, who you also met in kindergarten; he was a little cranky at times, but he was a total bro and you cared deeply for him. You were only 6 years old, but you were set on having these 2 as your best friends for life no matter what. Or at least…you wished it. 

Tavros poked your cheek with the remaining half of his little tiger cracker, “Gamzee? You ok?” 

“O-oh, yeah, don’t worry Tavbro…I’m fine.” You fidgeted with your own gorilla-shaped snack. 

“…I don’t buy it.” He scooted closer to you, “Please?”

“I overheard your ma and my ma talking…you’re moving aren’t you?” 

The room went silent except for the faint tune of Saffron City emanating from your Game Boys; Tavros’ gaze fell and his eyes became distant, “…y-yes…we’re moving.” 

“When?”

“ I don’t know yet…” 

“Do you know where?” You really hoped it was still somewhere in the country.

 Tavros only shrugged, “Spain I think…or London…those are uhh… the only two places I’ve heard dad talk about.”

 “What?! Maaaannn that really sucks some hairy balls! How am I supposed to visit you in stupid Europe?!” Whatever had started to form in the pit of your stomach grew in size and weight; the sinking feeling got worse and worse, “Why? Tavbro, why are you moving?”

 Tavros bit his lower lip and refused to make eye contact for what seemed like forever, but finally he spoke, “Dad found a new job there, and to make it easier for him mom found one too…somewhere…s-so my whole family has to move. I have no choice.” 

“Yes you do! You can…you can stay with me!” 

A faint smile grazed his face, “Thanks, but no…I’d miss my mom and dad too much, and Rufioh too…”

You looked around his room and found what you were looking for, you walked over to his bed, and at the top of his pillow was a plush toy of a bull with a nose-ring and fairy wings, and it was completely white. His dad got it for him on his last birthday and it was his most prized possession. “Here! You can have Tinkerbull with you!”

But he shook his head, “No…Tinkerbull would miss them too…”

Your best friend was leaving you, and there was nothing a little 6-year-old, nothing little-ol’-you, could do to change that.

When it was time to go home you gave Tavros a big, long hug. Your mom was waiting for you in the car, and she waved at Tavros and his mom. You said goodbye and a “thank you for letting me stay Mrs. Nitram.” to his mom and turned on your feet to walk over to your mom. When you got in the car you looked out the window and gave Tavros a last good-bye-wave for the day, and he gave you one back; then you were on your way.

“Mama, did you know Tavros is moving?”

“Yeah baby, I know; I found out recently from his mom.”

“I don’t want him to move…” you said with a pout, “Tavros and Karkat are my bestest friends in the whooooooole wide world! It wouldn’t be the same without my Tavbro!”

“I know it’s hard hun, but there’s nothing we can do about it. His parents already made the decision.” 

The rest of the car ride was spent in silence, mostly from your part, as your mom was still trying to cheer you up and change the topic. But it didn’t work. When you got home you jumped out of the car, dashed through the door, whizzed passed your confused-looking brother, and shut yourself in your room. Then you heard soft knocking on the door, but you didn’t move, you remained plopped down on your bed; then the knocking got louder and harder until finally you had no choice but to stand up and open it.

Kurloz looked down at you with conflicted emotions, on one hand he was confused and concerned for your sudden behavior, but on the other hand, that was his room too, so not only did you lock him out, but you almost bumped into him too. 

Your older brother, Kurloz – who was 9 -, was a mute, and he was still learning to fluently speak with sign language, so he would carry a little whiteboard with him just in case, and to speed things up. You were still learning to even understand sign language, for him, so he used the whiteboard to communicate.

“ ‘Are…you…ok? :o(’…Yes Kurloz I’m fine…I guess… I don’t know.” 

“What happened?” He wrote next.

“I said I’m fine.” 

He gave you a look and tapped the board with a finger, as if to re-emphasize the question. You sighed, “Fine…Tavros is moving... to stupid Europe. I’m never going to see him again!”

Kurloz began to write again, “You don’t know that. When?” 

“Iunno.” 

“Oh.” Was all he said.

“Yup.” You answered, and with that you once again shut the door on your brother’s face, and by the looks of it, this time he accepted being locked out and giving you some needed space. A few days passed since then, and by few you mean FEW, like 2 or 3 days, when Tavros called you to say his final goodbye; unfortunately he was already leaving for the airport, and there was no time left for you to book it to his place. That was the last time you spoke to your best friend, that was your last pokemon battle, and it was the last time you ever hugged him. 

 

* * *

 

Days passed, then weeks, those weeks turned to months, which turned to years, and now suddenly you were 17. Puberty was a ridiculous motherfucker to you; your once stubby composure became lean and long – you were now one of the tallest in your group of friends – your features became more defined, but nothing was sharp, but the one thing that really never changed was big ball of raven hair. 

You woke up that day engulfed in the miraculous aroma of pot, a.k.a sopor, and a multitude of circus animals and the occasional clowns that cheerfully decorated your sheets. Your room was a weird sight, it was as if Tim burton and Jojo from Jojo’s Circus had a baby and then that baby exploded in your room and it just so happened that baby was partially made of weed. Shit happens.

Anyway, back to the limp zombie-like blob that was your body… You were not a morning person, at all, and you weren’t much of a school person, at all…add the 2 together and you get the most reluctant little juggalo at 7:00 am.

If it weren’t for your bestie, Karkat, and his “future-legislator” of a girlfriend, you probably would’ve fucked over the system, the school, and yourself by rage quitting everything. But they kept you in line, and although you had proven to be quite a hand full and sometimes felt like nothing but a burden for them to babysit, you were so grateful to the both of them. You weren’t used to structure and rules…never really had much of either at home…Both your parents were very busy and important people; you weren’t 100% sure what exactly it was that they did for a living, but you knew that it had something to do with the legal system. Your parents divorced when you were still rather young, maybe around 10, and your dad booked it out of the joint. You rarely saw him, but he was still decent enough to send some money if need be, or a card for you or your brother’s birthday. Your mom never stopped working even with the divorce, so really, Kurloz was the one who practically raised you, and he was only 3 years older than you. For some reason you had a weird relationship with him; it was a cat and dog thing, but not too cartoonishly stereotypical. Your brother adored you, and always took care of you as much as he could, but he was still a weirdo to you who would sometimes get a little…cold and…dark all of a sudden…you on the other hand liked him, not adore, but like; you cared about him yes, but you think that maybe because he was always breathing down your neck as a child to make up for the lack of parenting, it might’ve hindered your view on him as a brother, and more like an overly-concerned nosy parent.

 Drugs became your escape from it all. The broken family, your shit time at school, your lack of support or happiness, your sudden anger bursts…it calmed you down and made you numb to it all. You knew how to control yourself though, so even if a few others saw it as a problem, you never really gave it much thought. The motherfucker wasn’t killing you or anything.

After getting dressed and having breakfast and shit, Kurloz gave you a ride to school. Your mom had left early, as usual, but also as usual, she left the both of you a good morning note on the kitchen table. You loved your mom, and even your dad, surprisingly enough you loved them both, but you still wished they were actually like parents and for them not to feel like that one adult who might’ve raised you for some time and then you occasionally see around the perimeter here and there; and if you were lucky, the female would actually stay home for a few hours…You and Kurloz weren’t animals…you needed them both for longer than like fucking 2 weeks or some shit. But whatever, you were 17 and used to solitude. 

Eventually you made it to school with just enough time to make a quicky to your locker and get your ass to class without being scolded for being late by teachers you didn’t even listened to half the time…except Ms. Paint…Ms. Paint was the coolest bitch. 

“ ‘Have…a nice day :o)’ yeah thanks, you to bro.” By now your brother had gotten a lot faster with his sign language, and you also improved in understanding it. It was helpful for those time where a whiteboard was an uncomfortable or unavailable option. You got out of the car and closed the door behind you. You sighed; yet another day at an institution that did nothing but bring you down…the up-side? Seeing your small group of close friends, and art / music class with Ms. Paint. 

You dragged your feet through the main entrance, up the stairs, past your locker –because let’s be honest here, you barely used the metallic motherfucker for school junk, unless your backpack was obnoxiously pregnant with text books you never read or notebooks full of whatever crap you had to do for homework…or more important stuff, like your faygo and sopor storage. You walked into class a few minutes before the bell rang and took your seat next to Karkat. English first thing in the morning, how fun…well it could be….but…mostly not.

“Alright ya little monkeys”, said Mr. Boxcars, “Today we gotta-”

 

_Knock knock knock_

_“_ Oh what?...” Mr. Boxcars went to open the door to let someone in. It was a boy…fairly tall but he seemed slightly shorter than you…you liked his mohawk, didn’t see that very often…in fact, you’ve never seen this kid in your life; you knew everyone in your grade even if they never remembered you and he didn’t seem to be from a younger grade. Your teacher had taken a slip from him and read it.

“ _Ah, my apologies, almost forgot about ya…ermm…Oh! You can take the seat behind Mr. Makara.”_

“Ok.” Was all he said, and the mohawked boy walked towards his new spot. There was some murmuring around the room but you weren’t really interested in deciphering the possible gossip over the new kid, unlike Karkat, who discreetly rested his head on his right arm on top of his desk so he could try to hear the others better. 

As the boy walked toward you, you made very quick eye contact as he moved. His eyes were this shade of rich chocolate with just the slightest hint of…almost this pumpkin color speckling them; they were warm in color but something about them clashed with the warmth and made them somewhat sharp and cold instead…and somehow it all worked on him. Something about those eyes struck you, not the color or the sharpness but something else…something about those eyes gave you a weird feeling at the pit of your stomach. 

After very short consideration you determined that it was likely your pancake breakfast with some faygo (and a little sopor for the road), and so you probably just had to go take a massive dump later. 

“They find him attractive.” Karkat whispered to you as class started, attempting to not get caught by neither your teacher nor the nameless boy behind you.

“Huh?”

“The new kid, some of the girls find him very attractive…personally I don’t see it…I mean, a mohawk? Really? That is so 90’s, and not even the good 90’s like Nirvana.” 

You tried to muffle a giggle, “I don’t know Karbro, I’m kinda digging it. Motherfucking different you know?” 

Karkat shrugged and went back to “paying attention” to the class. After about 20 minutes of endless blabbing from your teacher and a few notes, he let the class work on the homework while he went out of the classroom for a little while for some photocopies. You took the opportunity to get to know this kid a little, or to at least get his name so you won’t have to call him kid anymore. 

You turned around and smiled at him, “Hey there man. The name’s Gamzee! Welcome to this hellhole!” Karkat turned to you and then to the other boy. “This here’s my best friend, Karkat.” You said, patting the smaller boy’s fluffy hair, but he swatted your hand away and fixed his hair. 

“And you are?” Asked Karkat. 

“Tavros… Tavros Nitram.”

“Tavros…that’s a pretty bitchtits name, I like it." 

The mohawked boy smiled at the compliment and quietly said thank you. Now that you had a closer look at him you could kinda see better what the girls meant; he wasn’t an eyesore at all. You noticed he also had a cartilage piercing on his left ear. Not bad, not bad.

Karkat put his elbow on the edge of Tavros desk and rested his cheek on his hand, “Did you move here recently? You have a slight accent there but I  can’t quite put my finger on it.”

Tavros nodded, “Yes I guess it isn’t a common accent… I uhh…really hope it’s not that bad. To answer your question though, I did move here recently, about a month ago or so; took us a while to fully settle down so that’s why I missed the first week of school. I used to live in the area actually, when I was a little kid.”

You and Karkat looked at each other and then back at Tavros, “Really man?”

“Mhm. Then my family moved to Spain for 6 years and London for 5…and uhh… now I’m back to my first home haha.”

“So that’s what that funky little accent of yours is. Exotic little motherfucker aren’t ya?” you let out a small honking laugh, which made him laugh back.

“I-in a way I guess?” 

Mr. Boxcars returned to the class, “Oki dokes boys and girls, I’m back with your homework!” The class groaned in unison at the mention of homework. “I know, I know; I was 17 once too you know. But you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do, and what you have to do is your homework.” 

You sighed and mumbled, “this is stupid…” 

“Agreed…” said Karkat, “but he’s right.” 

Class was slow as fuck, to you anyway, to the point where even daydreaming didn’t kill as much time as you had hoped it would, but finally it was over. You stashed your stuff into your backpack and stood up, but quickly remembered what you wanted to do. 

“Oh wait, wait, Tavbro, mind if I look at your sched? Maybe we have other classes together. You can hang with us if you don’t mind sticking around with a couple of weirdos. Right Karbro?” 

Karkat looked at you as you spoke and nodded at Tavros when you asked the question, “Fine by me.” 

“O-ok,” Tavros rummaged through his satchel, took out the neatly folded paper and handed it to you, “and thanks.” He said with a soft smile.

You unfolded the sheet of paper and looked over it, “Hmm…Looks like we got P.E and advisory together!…and…aww…that’s it…only English, advisory and P.E.”

 “Lemme see,” Karkat took the paper from your hand and compared it to his own schedule as the three of you walked out of the classroom, “English, P.E, a spare…actually, both you and Gamzee have art, just different times…Chemistry and Biology? You like science huh?”

“Can’t say I’m particularly fond of chemistry, I have a love-hate relationship with it, but I do find biology interesting, which is good since I want to be a vet.” 

“Cool! You’re gonna help a shitton of animals!” you exclaimed.

 “That’s what I’m hoping for haha.” Tavros took back his scheduled and checked it, “well…speaking of Chemistry, looks like that’s where I’m going next. I-I’ll see you guys later?”

 “For sure! And we’ll see each other for advisory too anyway.”

 The three of you parted ways and moved on to your next classes. You turned your head back to quickly look at Tavros as he walked away; something at the pit of your stomach was still bothering you, and you still couldn’t tell what it was. As you had planned on before, you decided to make your way to the bathroom just in case.

 Tavros…Tavros…Where had you heard that name before…it wasn’t a common name, so you guessed that if you felt something about it, it could probably be important…but you just couldn’t remember shit; add in the sopor and you had made it a habit to forget stuff whether you wanted to or not.

Oh well…maybe it just wasn’t as important as you thought.

 You had advisory with Tavros and Karkat, and introduced him to Kanaya and Aradia then too. Everyone was nice to Tavros, even Karkat, in his own crabby little way, but you were sure Tavros would get used to it soon enough. Aradia and Tavros made an instant friendship connection through common interests; it was fun to watch them fangirl over action/adventure movies and games and other stuff they felt passionate about. You didn’t have too many friends but the ones you did have you cared for deeply, so it felt nice to see Tavros fit in so nicely with a few members of your little group and hoped it would run smoothly with the rest as well.

 When lunch came around you all went out to the school’s field for lunch and met with the others. You introduced him and it seemed to have gone well; Nepeta took a liking to him right away, especially after hearing about his love for animals and his desire to be a vet (although she was a little sad to hear he was actually allergic to cats, which she loved). Lunch was the last time you saw Tavros for the day, and you hoped his last 2 classes went well too; with his fire-and-ice stare, size, and composure Tavros looked strong and extremely confident, but so far had actually proven to be a little awkward around new people and even on the quiet side, not too much, but enough that you would describe him that way to someone else.

 You took the bus home today as usual; Kurloz’s schedule was a little different from yours since he was in college now, and of course you couldn’t rely on your mother to pick you up either. At least the bus ride was only about half an hour. When you got home you didn’t see nor feel any sign of life, and Kurloz’ car wasn’t visible either, unless he parked in the garage, but again, you weren’t sure.

You got your keys out and opened the front door, “Kurloz?....BroOoOoOo?.....uhm…Ma?...of course not…” You locked the door behind you and took your shoes off before continuing into the kitchen for some water. When you went in, you discovered a note had been left on the refrigerator from your brother.

 “ ‘Going to Meulin’s after classes are done. Will probably be late tonight. Eat well! :o)’ …tch.” You took the note off and the slightest of smirks curled your lip up into a crooked little smile. He really did sound like a parent a lot of the time. It must’ve been hard for him too; having to take care of his younger sibling while still trying to be a kid, not to mention try to take care of himself as well. Your smirk turned into a sour frown. You really _were_ broken. You crumpled the paper and threw it in the trash.

 Meulin was Kurloz’s girlfriend; they had been dating for about a year now, and she was also Nepeta’s older sister. Meulin was deaf, but she wasn’t born deaf (you weren’t exactly sure what happened to her, just that there was an accident/incident when she was younger, and as she grew up her hearing got worse and worse), so even though her speech was a little awkward sounding by now, she could speak if the person she was talking to didn’t really understand sign language. They were a tragically beautiful pair.

 You made yourself a giant sandwhich for dinner and got a bottle of faygo out to chug it down with as you watched TV from the nook table, Thank the mirthfull messiahs of architecture and design for open-floor-plan designs letting you enjoy TV from the kitchen. You finished nomming your feast and downing half a litre of grape Faygo and went up to your room. You shut your door and plopped down on your nice, comfy bed; you just laid there for a few seconds before getting back up to partially open one of your windows and change out of your clothes and into something comfier, aka PJ pants.

You wen back to your bed and open the drawer from your bed-side table where you kept one of your little bags of green miracles. You made a joint and lit it up, then took in a big drag; you kept the smoke inside you for a few secondsand let your body just melt into the sensation and smell, then you slowly let it escape and curl out of your mouth and into the air around you. You then reached over to the left corner of the bed, on the other side next to your pillow, where you kept your Nintendo DS; you were about to turn it on but stopped with your finger lingering over the little bar you have to slide, and instead you reached deep into your bed-side table's drawer again.

You took out your old, dear friend: Your Game Boy COLOR.  
You turned it on and the nostalgic high-pitched melody along with the ascending letters that made up the word COLOR reminded you of your childhood right away. You were a kid again (not that you were much of an adult to begin with anyway). Pokemon Red was still fitted snugly in the slot. The last time you played this was about 5 years ago, which you thought was crazy now that you were doing it again. All your old pokemon were there just like you left them; your Bulbasaur, Slowpoke, Pidgeotto, Pikachu, Grimmer, and of course, your beloved Gastly. It was then when that heavy feeling in the pit of your stomach came back. You had never had issues with your sopor after getting better used to it when you first started, an just yesterday you were completely fine as well...what a fucking pain in the ass. You chose to ignore it this time and continued on with trying to be the very best, like no one ever was. Catching them as your real test and training them was your cause.

It had been ages since you last used Gastly, and it seemed that he was reather overdue for an evolution; it was already at level 32, and it was supposed to evolve back at level 25.

"Guess I didn't wanna change the motherfucker for some reason...well that's dumb." You K.O'd some wild pokemon and battled a couple of trainers until finally your Gastly went up a level and the opportunity to evolve presented itself. 

_Congratulations! Your Gastly has evolved into Haunter!_

"Sweeeeeeet."


	2. TM42: Dream Eater

You played your Pokemon Red game for hours, and you barely even noticed when Kurloz got home until you heard the knock on your bedroom door. 

"I'm comin', I'm comin'... Hiiiiiiyah bro, how was the day with your little kitten? ;o)"

" _Exactly how you think it was ;o_ )" he signed.

"You bony little flirt" You patted your brother's cheek.

Kurloz smugly laughed; it was a mostly silent laugh, but a laugh nontheless.  _"Are you baked right now?_ "

"Like a kite motherfucker, like a kite in the big blue sky."

_"Thought so. Did you eat?"_

"Yeessss Kurloz, I did."

" _I mean REALLY eat bro."_

"Well yes. A nice, big sandwhich, and some Faygo." You patted your belly in satisfaction.

Kurloz sighed, " _Well...it's something...alright...well, as you can imagine I'm pretty motherfucking beat for today. Goodnight you little shit."_ He ruffled your hair before he made his way to his own room. Now that you were older it was only natural that the shared-bedroom plan just wasn't going to work well anymore, so your mother decided to completely gut your dad's old study and make it into Kurloz's new room. You each had your own bathroom now, which you never knew would appreciate so much.

You closed your door and jumped back into your bed; you picked your game up and continued playing, but after a while you decided that maybe it'd be a good idea to check what time it was. It  _was_  a good idea...turns out it was actually 1:30 am by now; on a weekend or during vacations you wouldn't give 2 flying fucks about the time, but seeing as how you had to wake up early again tomorrow for school it would be beneficial for you to sleep ASAP. Suddenly you heard a door downstairs open and close shut. "Guess mom's home." You went to your washroom to do your thang and brush yo teeth, only took come out to your slightly annoyed mother.

"Gamzee Makara do you know what time it is?"

"Uhh...yeah...I uhh, was just getting ready for bed actually."

"Good. You shouldn't be sleeping so late. You have to wake up early for school; your brain is never awake enough to learn! that's why you keep getting bad grades! Now come here so I can give you a goodnight kiss and GO.TO.BED." Your mom stretched out her hand beckoned you towards her. She hugged you tightly and brought your face slightly down so she could kiss your foreahead. "Goodnight little clown, love you."

"Love you too mama."

She closed the door shut behind her (thank the messiahs. This person actually understood that if you had your door shut before they came in when you were going to sleep you would expect them to close it again once the leave...a lot of people seem to not understand this concept). Your curled up in your bed under your sheets and within minutes began to grow heavier and heavier as you found the miraculous spot of all the comfies for sleep. Your vision began to blur and it became harder and harder to stay awake. 3....2....1....gone.

That night you had a strange dream, but it was still pretty cool. It was a pokemon dream. You were a pokemon trainer now, and your team in the game was your team in the dream. Your brand new Haunter was out of his pokeball and floating around you; every time you turned your head to try to see him, the little bastard would poof away and reappear somewhere else where you weren’t looking. He surprised you by reappearing upside down and making a funny face right in front of you, and then he gave you an endearing lick. You loved Haunter’s trickster appeal despite his otherwise spooky appearance.

You began walking through a big field of tall grass nearby in search of some new pokemon to befriend and catch, but stopped when you felt your Haunter tugging your shirt from behind and pointing somewhere in the distance to your left. A young boy sat on the grass with his Eevee. He seemed rather upset, and his friend was trying to cheer him up with little licks to the nose and nuzzles. You felt bad for him, and by the looks of it your buddy was concerned too, so you decided to go to him and find out what was wrong.

When you got closer you realized the kid was crying, and then Eevee noticed you and immediately took a defensive position between you and his trainer.

“Calm down cutie, I ain’t here to hurt ya or your friend.” You brought your handsup to show you meant no harm and smiled, and your Haunter followed suit by mimicking you.

Eevee calmed down a little, but still remained protective of the boy. He turned his head in your direction, still looking at the ground below him with his messy hair also hiding his face as he spoke to you.

“ _*sniffle*_ w-who are you? Y-you r-really won’t _*hic *_ hurt me?” He asked between sobs.

“My name’s Gamzee, and this is my pal Haunter.” Your pokemon smiled and waved hello to the boy, “And of course we won’t hurt ya little man! Big bro Gamz just wants to know what’s got ya all down in the dumps.”

“ _*sniffle*_ W-well…n-nobody wants to b-battle with me because I’m j-just a little kid _*sniffle*._ I’ll n-never become a strong p-pokemon t-trainer like this! A-and that’ll hurt my Eevee too…” He rubbed away his streaming tears from his face with his sleeve.

“Aw, don’t worry bro. We’ll battle ya! Right Haunter?”

“Haunter!”

“R-really? Wow, t-thanks!

The little boy stood up and his head was facing you straight-on, but you were taken a bit by surprise upon the realization that his face was blank, and you didn’t mean the emotionless kind – which would’ve been a little weird considering he was so sad – but full on blank! He was motherfucking faceless.

“Eevee get ready! Ok big bro, let’s battle!”

“That’s the spirit! C’mon Haunter, let’s put on our best show!”  
  
“Haaaaunter haunt!”

“Eeevee, use double team!”

“Eeeevee!”  
  
“Haunter, use confuse ray!....AW MAN IT ACTUALLY MISSED.”

The battle went on for a while; it proved to be more fun than you expected it to be. This kid was stronger, and better than he appeared to be. It was still a little shocking to you that he won but you weren’t bitter about it, and were glad you got to help him cheer up.

“Yay! We won Eevee, we won!”

“Eevee eevee!”

“And I didn’t even go easy on ya, good job kid.” You gave the boy a thumbs-up.

You could only imagine how happy he must have looked, considering he didn’t even have a face…Now that you thought about it…he didn’t even have a name either; you were so wrapped up in battle that you forgot to ask him.

“I like you kid, what’s your name?”

“My name?”  
  
“Yeah, what’s your name?”

“What’s my name?”  
  
“I-I don’t know haha…that’s why I’m asking you”

“I-I don’t know haha.”

“What?”

“What?”

Something felt off; the aura around you change and that infernal feeling in the pit of your stomach was back to haunt you even in your dreams. What the fuck was going on?

“You don’t have a name?” you asked.

“I don’t have a name…I…forgot…” he said.

“You forgot? How do you forget your name?... And your face…what…where…”

“I don’t know my name…and I don’t know my face…” The kid began to walk towards you until he was about 5 paces away from you. “What’s my name big bro?”

“I…I don’t know.”

“Where is my face big bro?”

“I don’t…I don’t know man…” What was up with this kid?

He took a step towards you, which made you take a small one back, “Who am I Gamzee?”

“How should I know? This is the first time I’ve seen you!”

“Who am I Gamzee?”

“Listen kid I-”

“What is my name? Where is my face? Who am I Gamzee? Who am I who am I who am I who am I who am I who am I who am I-”

“KID, I SAID I DON’T KNOW WHO YOU MOTHERFUCKING ARE!”

“G-gAmZz-z-zzEe, W-whO a-a-a-am Ii? The boy’s voice became machine-like and he began to rapidly twitch, “MmY N-Nn-AME” he was like a glitch. Your dream was fucking glitching. Who is this douchebag?!

The boy started to half glitch, half walk toward you, but as you started to move backwards you tripped over something and fell down; it was a toy, but, what was a toy doing in a field?  
That’s when you realized Haunter was gone, and Eevee, and most importantly, the field. You were in a room now, a little kid’s room, but it was incomplete, pieces around you were missing – hollow, dark emptiness left in its place – and like the child parts of the room, like the toy truck you just tripped over, were pixelating and glitching too.

“WwhY d-d-did yOU f-orget me Gamzee?” The kid began to stabilize a bit as he went on. “Why did you forget?”

“I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE MOTHERFUCKING TALKING ABOUT! I DON’T FUCKING KNOW YOU!”

“You forgot me Gamzee…You forgot…”

“WHO ARE YOU?! WHO DID I FORGET?!”

“Who did you forget?”  
  
“STOP THAT!”

“Who did you forget?”

You were on the verge of tears of irritation and slight fear by now, “I DON’T KNOW! I DON’T KNOW YOU! I..I DON’T….”

“Who did you forget Gamz?”

“I….I don’t…know…I don’t know you! I-I don’t know this place!”

“You…forgot….me…” The kid’s voice began to disappear, and as did he.

“How could I forget you when I just met you?!”

“How… could you… forget?”

“I….I…forgot…you?” This was just too much for you.

“Gamzee…please…you…remember…me…….” And he was gone.

“I…I CAN’T!” you screamed and curled up into a ball as you kept screaming your lungs out.

You woke up with a jolt, panting, and with some cold sweat on your forehead and the back of your neck…what the FUCK was that?! Maybe it was time to lay down on the sopor before bed…at least for a little while. That was messed up. You checked the time on your alarm clock: 4:55 a.m.  
Son. Of. A. Bitch. That nightmare totally messed up your sleep. You huffed in exasperation and stood up to go to your bathroom to dry off the yucky cold sweat. The lights momentarily blinded you when you turned them on, and it made your eyes sting soon after. You took your hand towel and damped it with some cold water first, then you dabbed the areas with the cold sweat to better clean them and refresh yourself, and dried them off. You hadn’t had such a fucked up dream in years, and you hadn’t had ANY dream in weeks if not months. But as freaky as that shit was you couldn’t help but feel like something really was off. You turned off the lights and went back to bed and tried your best to fall asleep again; lucky for you, you loved sleeping and were still very, very tired, so it didn’t take very long for you to doze off again.

_BEEP BEEP BEEP BE*SLAM*_

“Grrrnnnddtnr…fuuuuck.” You removed your fist from the alarm clock and your arm went down like a limp noodle. That was a really bad sleep, and that made you extra cranky this morning.

You unwillingly dragged yourself to your bathroom once again, and once again your stupid lights burned your poor eyes, which made you attempt doing everything you had to do through very squinty eyes. As an added bonus, your shaggy bangs were just about long enough to help shield your eyes if you looked down a little.

You slowly and clumsily put on your clothes, but as you were sitting down on your bed to put on your socks, you magically ended up laying down on it instead. You closed your eyes for a moment, only to be rudely awakened again by a shout from downstairs…wait…a shout?

“GAMZEE, HURRY UP, BREAKFAST IS ALMOST DONE!” It was your mom…wait…your mom?...what the hayhay was she doing here? Oh my god…where you still dreaming?...what kind of crazy Inception shit was going on here?!

You pinched yourself as a test, and it hurt, so you guessed that somehow this was real and your mom was actually still home before you left for school. You finished getting dressed, grabbed your backpack, and made your way down the stairs and into the kitchen.

“Goodmorning baby.” Said your mother as she finished frying some eggs for breakfast. A pile of waffles was already plated at the center of the kitchen table where your brother was sitting.

“ _Mornin’ :o)”_ Signed your brother before picking up one of the fluffly discs

“Mornin’ ma… mornin’ Kur.”

“You ok Gamzee?”

“Just had a really bad dream…and really bad sleep…I’m fine…” You plopped down on the seat next to your brother, with a plate and cutlery already set up for you, and picked up 2 waffles.”

“ _What about?”_

“Kurloz…I honestly don’t even know what the flying fucks happened…”

Your mom finished with the eggs and brought a small bowl full of chopped melons, banana, and strawberries. She placed them down and sat down to eat. This was a very rare occasion, but you didn’t mind the once-in-a-blue-moon moments when your family felt not-as-broken and a little bit more…connected.

“Mom…do you ever feel like you’ve forgotten something really important?”

“Well…yeah, I mean…we all forget important stuff at some point; like forgetting to properly close the fridge door before leaving the house for 5 freaking hours.”

 _“Sorry_!” said Kurloz with a small, apologetic giggle.

“No no, I mean like…really important…like…something you had to do that was crucial or…or someone?”

“Hmm….yes I guess that has happened to me too…Why?”

“Well…since yesterday I’ve been-”  
  
 _TURURURU *bzzzz* *bzzzz*_

“Oh! Hold on a sec Gamz.” Your mom took her cellphone out of her pocket and checked her text message, “Hmm…looks like they do need me there early after all…fuck…*sigh* oh well…I’m sorry babies, I really gotta go now!” She finished stuffing the last bites of her waffle in her mouth, drank her orange juice and grabbed an apple from the bowl in the counter. “We can continue talking later if you want Gamzee, I’m sorry! And Kurloz, make sure your brother gets to class on time; his grades are already low enough, he doesn’t need the loss of points from being late too, and make sure YOU get to your class on time too! Bye!” She quickly went out the door and before you knew it the engine of the car roared away and it became faint in the distance.

“Yeah…later…”

Kurloz put his hand on your shoulder and asked if you wanted to talk about it with him first since mom wasn’t there anymore; if you needed to vent.

“Thanks…but it’s nothing. Just forget it…seems like I did too…”

He nodded and cleaned up his plate before telling you to hurry finish eating so you could leave in a few.

 _Guess I’ll just wait and tell Karkat at school…_ You thought, _hopefully he’ll listen to me and understand…_

* * *

 

That morning you got to school still under a bit of the post-nightmare shock, even through the sopor you smoked this morning before leaving the house; much to Kurloz’s displeasure because of the time you wasted and the hurry you were in. You were paying no attention to your surroundings and almost walked into a post and a few people. Karkat appeared in front of you and waved a hand at your face to get your attention from the daze.

 “Gaaaaamzeeee….shit man, how much pot did you smoke this morning?!”

 “Huh? Ohh, Karbro…hello…no no I didn’t take more than my usual I motherfuckin swear! I just…I had some shit quality z’s that’s all…”

 “Well that’s rare…you usually sleep like a log…something bothering ya?”

 As a matter of fact, there fucking was, “Yeah. Yeah there is…do you ever get the feeling that you forgot something really important? And then something triggers you randomly and it’s like you’re trying so hard to remember but how can you remember what you forgot when you don’t know what you forgot because you can’t remember?”

 “Well snap Gamzee,” said a voice behind you; it was Terezi, and Kanaya accompanied her. “what was all that blabbing about?”

 “Oh, hey Terezita, hey Maryam…uh…” you let out a big sigh, “I don’t really know…I can’t remember…”

 “Would you mind trying to explain it more clearly to us? There’s still some time left before classes start.” Asked Kanaya.

 You then went on talking about the dream you had had last night, attempting to be as clear but detailed as you could muster. Your friends looked at you with complete confusion plastered across their faces, and when you stopped, they looked at each other before answering.

 “Well that’s…something alright” Said Kanaya.

 “Gamzee you really need to lay off the sopor” Added in Terezi.

 “I don’t know if it’s the motherfucking sopor. I really feel like it’s something more but my fucking thinkpan won’t cooperate!”

 “And this is recent?” Asked Karkat. You nodded, “Ok, how recent?”

 “Uuuhh…well, yesterday.”

 “Oh. How? Why?”

“I don’t know…When Tavros was first walking towards his spot behind me and I made eye contact with him was pretty much when it started I guess? I thought it was just breakfast acting up and I just needed to take a massive crap.”

 “Eew Gamz, thanks for the details.” Said Terezi.

 You gave her a triumphant smile for grossing her out, and continued, “So aaaanywayyy…I dismissed it but then it came back when he said his name….buuuut turns out I didn’t have to take a shit…but the feeling continued the whole day.”

 “Gamzee, did it never occur to you that the thing which you forgot had something to possibly do with Tavros?”

 “Kanaya how can it have ANYTHING to do with Tavros if he just got here yesterday?” Retorted Karkat, crossing his arms.

 Terezi pinched one of Karkat’s cheeks and said, “Well it makes sense Mr. Crabbypants. Gamzee started feeling this way since yesterday – Tavros showed up yesterday – he first felt it when they made eye contact, it continued throughout the whole day and I bet you it’ll happen again today, especially after such a dream.”

 “Maybe it’s about something or someone Tavros reminds him about?”

“But you guys, WHY…or…or WHO?!”

The 3 of them looked at each other again, and shrugged; none of them had a clue either, and you couldn’t blame them.

The bell rang throughout the building, signifying the start of class for everyone – goddamnit it – and that meant the 4 of you had to go their own separate way.

 Your first class that day was with Nepeta. It was never a dull moment with her; you always doodled on your papers together or came up with the most random stories. Turns Nepeta had had art class yesterday with Tavros, and she really liked him. You were happy your friends had warmed up so quickly to him. You decided not to tell her about the dream or ask anything; you wanted to just leave it alone and try to forget about it. That is…until you remembered you had advisory with Tavros…every day…and on top of that you had English and P.E with him too, every other day… so it would likely prove more difficult than you had hoped.

 “*The ferocious huntress pokes the little clown to get him out of his trance* Something bothering you?”

 “Hmm? Oh, it’s nothing don’t worry, *the mirthful laughsassin pats the kittybeast’s head in reassurance*”

 “*she purrs* if you say so.” She checked her phone for the time. “purrfect, math class is almost over.” She laid down her head on her desk and yawned, and as it always happens with yawns, it was contagious, and you yawned too. Math should never be first thing in the morning; it’s stupid enough as it is, and making it the first clas in the morning just makes it worse for everyone. You sometimes wonder if ANYONE in the class is actually paying even half-attention.

 Class finished, then the next one, advisory came and went – and much to your surprise that weird feeling in your stomach didn’t come back when you saw Tavros…maybe it  _was_  the sopor?…or something else you ate? Well, at least you could rule out your new friend – break proved to be peaceful as well, and you were starting to feel a lot better. Now it was time for P.E with Mr. English; you didn’t mind Mr. English, he had a cool English accent you liked to hear, and he was rather nice to all his students…buuuut sometimes he could get a little rough and adventurous for a simple gr. 12 P.E class…aaannndd you weren’t the most active guy out there, at least not without a good reason to be.

 “Ok boys and girls, today we’re going to be playing some good ol’ handball! But first let’s warm up by running 3 laps around the gym and a few stretches, tally-ho kids!”

 He really enjoyed this class…even more than some of the students; he jogged with the rest of you at the front of everyone, but you, Karkat, and Tavros jogged lightly near the back of the group without necessarily being dead last (you didn’t want to get a speech on spirit and energy from your teacher and you did kinda like the class so…you needed all the good marks you could get).

 After the warm up he told the class to line up horizontally in front of him; you knew where this was going… the “1-2-1-2” count that turned brothers into strangers and friends into enemies. The cause of betrayal in any physical education class, but it was too late to shift now as he approached where you and your friends were.

 “1, 2, 1, 2, 1…” and there he went. You have now been given the title of number 2, which means you and Tavros are in the blue team while Karkat got sent over to the red team. At least he had Equius on his team; neither you nor Karkat were that close to the guy but he was nice enough, and he was Nepeta’s best friend, practically like an older brother to her, but you couldn’t help but wonder somewhere in the depth of all that platonic love, some redder feelings were hidden between the 2 of them. Part of you hoped so, they had been friends for sooo long, always together, always balancing each other and such…they would make a great pair; but whatevs, they made the cutest motherfucking BFFs too anyway.

 The first 5 people (6 including the goalies) from each class went up and got into position, among them Karkat, but You and Tavros sat this one out. Karkat played well, but got hit a few times, nothing big though, just your typical P.E injuries; meanwhile Equius played like a majestic warrior as he ran and catch and threw the ball…what kind of puberty did HE go through? And why didn’t you go through it too? Life could be so unfair at times.

 After the first 15 minutes Mr. English blew his whistle to signal the change in players, and Tavros and you were up to play.

 “We got this motherfucker.”

 “Fist bunp time” You and Tavros pounded it. Oh yes. Shit was on now. The iron was in the fire.

 

_FWEEEEEEE_

 

The whistle blew and the game started instantaneously. The ball wooshed in the air from player to player, hitting a few heads and missing a few hands as always. You managed to score a point about 3 minutes in, and your adrenaline started to really build up; you threw further, ran faster, and become more competitive. Tavros was your wingman that game. You were in total sync as you played, every ball he threw you caught and vice versa; he scored a goal too and you fist bunped again.

 The game was going smoothly, with the scores 2-4 favoring your blue team. You caught a few playful boooo’s from Karkat and gave him a smug grin back. The ball whizzed over to Tavros who caught it in a jump; the other half of the court was wide open and you were the closest one to the goal. 

  
“Go!” Tavros shouted over to you as he was readying to throw the ball. But the moment you made eye contact with him in that moment something happened. You froze. You simply froze in place when you saw him and the feeling in the pit of your stomach rushed back to consume you inside out. Tavros face was replaced with the boy’s from your dream, and the setting changed, you were in a park not a gym…and you knew this park, you used to go there all the time…and you changed too…your clothes were different, your hands were different, everything was different.

 “Gamzee!” He yelled, but the voice was different too, it was higher pitched, and sweeter. The boy threw the ball at you and you reached your arms out to catch it and play…or so you thought, because that when you felt a smack to your face and another to the back of your head. You blacked out, and the image of the day in the park quickly faded.

 When you started to wake up you noticed that once again the setting was different, but it wasn’t the park again. The walls and ceilings were white and there was a blue curtain next to you; you ended up in the school’s infirmary. You moved your head to examine your surroundings, your eyes were still readjusting, and you saw 2 blurs coming towards you.

 “Finally, you ok fuckass?”

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have thrown it at you! I’m sorry Gamzee!”

 “Karbro? Tav? Heeeyyy amigos…Am I…am I dead?” You tried to sit up on the bed but the moment you moved your head started pounding from every direction, “Ah! Shiiit…ugh, what the everloving fuck happened to my skull?

 “Your not dead dipshit, you just passed out. We were playing handball and you were open for the goal, so Tavros was waiting for you to get ready for him to throw the ball, and then you just stood there with this stupid blank expression plastered over your face and next thing you know this kid throws the ball at you cuz time was almost up and you STILL wouldn’t move…so the ball hit your face which then made you stumble back and hit the back of your head ridiculously hard against the fucking wall.” Karkat explained as he slightly opened the smaller window next to you to let some air in. Tavros had his head down and looked terribly guilty for hitting you.

 “Don’t worry motherfucker, it was my fault for not reacting in the first place.” You assured him.

 “B-but I should’ve had better judgment; you weren’t moving and I STILL threw it at you when I could’ve probably ran there myself… o-or thrown it to the nearest person.”

 “Well, you two can stay here and argue about who was the fuckup, but I need to get to class unless I want Terezi biting my head off.”

 You suggestively giggled and gave him a little wink, “honk honk ;o)”

Tavros caught on to what you meant and giggled at Karkat too.

 “…Don’t even Gamzee…don’t you fucking even. IT’S NOT LIKE THAT.” He quickly walked out of the classroom, partially blushing from what little of his face you were able to see. Oh Karkat, you naughty little crab. Karkat had always been a true romantic and while Terezi liked the romance and courtship she also had her more…aggressive side…and Karkat was crazy about her.

 “You don’t have to go to class?”

 “Nope, spare block.”

 “Oh right. You can leave if you want though, I’m fine, really.”

 “No it’s fine. I don’t have much to work on, and besides, this was all pretty much my fault…”

 For the first time since you became friends and awkward silence washed over you and Tavros, and you decided to use it as your queue to finally start asking some questions to the mohawked boy, “Hey Tavbro, you said you used to live here right?”

“Y-yes?”

 “For how long?”

 “Uhm…maybe till I was 6? Maybe 7? ...why?”

“Do you ever feel like…oh what’s that shit called…déjà vu? I mean…now that you’re back a lot of memories must be coming back to you huh?”

 “Wel…to be perfectly honest…no. It’s been years Gamz, so I can’t remember a lot of stuff from when I was only 6 years old haha. Besides, what’s there to remember?”

 “Your old home, playgrounds, your old school…your old friends?”

 “Hmm… I don’t remember the name of my old school…I do remember my old home and as for friends…I somewhat remember…but I don’t know…If I can’t really remember then I guess it’s not very important right? Like…nothing struck as especial.”

 “Oh…yeah…yeah that makes sense.” You smiled to yourself, but, it was a somewhat bitter smile. By now, between the weird feeling, your dream, and the sudden flashback you are 90% certain Tavros was someone to you or reminds you a whole fucking lot of someone who was important to you, so hearing him say that nothing struck him as special stung you a little.

 Suddenly you felt a warm hand cover your forehead, and chocolate eyes met your own indigo irises. The proximity made you feel weird, but a good weird, or at least you think it was a good weird, you weren’t thinking very clearly. You could've sworn you suddenly felt a little warmer. Every emotion known to you rushed inside your veins in a second; anger, confusion, happiness, sadness, and all.

 “You looked pale…you sure you’re ok?”

 “I…I…” What is happening? What the fuck is going through your thinkpan right now?

 The pressure of his hand left your forehead and the warmth was replaced by the cold of breeze coming in through the window. Part of you felt disappointed; you didn’t want his hand to leave your skin…you…didn’t want him to leave.

 Tavros’ mouth slanted with concern for you, “I think you really need some rest Gamzee. Karkat already went to your next teacher and told em what happened and Mr. English testified too, so technically you’re excused from that block.” He was starting to get up from sitting at the edge of the bed next to you, when somehow, beyond all reasoning, you hand just jolted and gripped onto his shirt.

 “G-gamz? What?”

 “No…nothing. Nothing; guess I really do need to catch a few little zee’s to let my skull recover from that major blow you gave me.” You teased him with a few ‘tsk tsk’s, which made him laugh lightly (and apologize, again). He stood up completely this time and your hand fell limp on the bed; he walked over to where the curtains separating you from the rest of the room were and stood for a second, turning back to you, “I’ll come back before class to see how you’re doing. I’ll see ya later Gamz.”

 “Alrighty bro. Oh wait! Before you go, mind givin a motherfucker your digits? Wonk wonk”

 “Hmph, didn’t even try to court me for such an honor” You laughed and gave him your phone so he could put in his info. You waved him goodbye with a smile and watched him leave.  You had been feeling a little nauseous for some time now, and although part of you still didn’t want him to go, but you also accepted the fact that you needed some alone time at the moment. Besides, you didn’t want Tavros witnessing you barf your guts out randomly on the bed, or even worse, on him.

 You felt that you didn’t get enough from your brief conversation with Tavros just now, and you wanted to keep deciphering just what exactly everything was pointing too. You didn’t have enough sopor to deal with all this shit, and your pounding headache and sick feeling likely meant you were at an all time low.

Classes were hour and 15, and you still had a good 40 minutes left, so you took your bro’s advice and rested. Your sleep –though brief - was peaceful and dreamless, and you were very happy about that.

 You didn’t really want to, but after your time at the infirmary was over Tavros made sure you got your ass to your next class ASAP; great, a new babysitter. Lucky for you class flew by and Kurloz made it just in time to pick you up. After some small chat and vague responses you made it home; tonight you were the one to cook dinner, but after hearing about your little accident today, Kurloz offered to help you with it. You hated to admit it, but you kinda liked cooking with your bro.

 After a very satisfying meal of chicken, rice, and spicy lentil soup, you bid your brother adieu for the night and locked yourself in your room. You’re pretty sure you had some homework to do…buuuuuuut you weren’t in the mood. Instead you decided that maybe you should legit try going to sleep somewhat “early” tonight and get proper rest, but before that, a little visit from your green little buddy.

 All the tension flushed out of your body, and a state of zen replaced it instead. You played with the smoke and tried making shapes with it like in cartoons, it never really worked, but you liked trying anyways, you never knew when a little miracle could happen and you’d puff the perfect O shape. Before you fell asleep you remembered what you had been intending to do since you got out of the infirmary; you reached for your phone on your bed-side table and unlocked it, searched for his number, and texted it.

TC: SuP MoThErFuckEr :o) It’S GaMzEe MaKaRa. SoOoOo… I wAs WoNdErInG iF YoU’d WaNnA GeT yOuR cHiLl On WiTh Me On ThE wEeKeNd?

 A couple of minutes later, Tavros replied:

AT: hEY GAMZ }:) uHMM, i CAN'T THIS WEEKEND, sORRY!... hOW ABOUT NEXT ONE? wHO ELSE WILL BE COMING? kARKAT I’M GUESSING?

 TC: NaH bRo, jUsT yOu AnD Me, SpEnDiNg SoMe qUaLiTy BoNdInG tImE wItH mY nEw BrO

 AT: oH, wELL ALRIGHT. nEXT SATURDAY IS GOOD FOR ME… wHAT TIME?

TC: HoW bOuT wE mEeT aT tHe MaLl aAaAaT… 1:30?

 AT: oK!...uHH…w-WHICH MALL THOUGH?

 TC: SkAiA mAlL, bRo

 AT: sURE }:D 

TC: sWeEeEt. SeE yA tOmOrRoW fOr EnGlIsH! honk honk :o)


	3. TM 27: Return

You were running late, how typical of you to rush out last minute, and nearly crashed into everyone who was in your way. When you got to the mall Tavros was already waiting by some of the sofas in the sitting area; you called out his name but there was no reaction. You kept walling closer to him only to realize the reason why you were ignored was because of music. He looked pensive as he stared into nothingness while listening to his iPod. Even though you didn’t use uniforms at your school, there was still something different about seeing someone in normal clothes _outside_ school; From what you had seen so far this past week, Tavros liked to keep things simple, wearing your basic everyday jeans, converse, a t-shirt, and a opened button-up shirt over it. Today he jazzed things up a little, yes he still had his button up shirt and converse and jeans, but he looked kinda cool to you in that moment. It was hard to explain, just…different, but good, and again his eyes were the focal point for you, even without them focusing on anything.

 You got close enough to him that he noticed someone hovering over him and his gaze went straight to yours.

 “Heeyyy Tavbro, sorry I’m late, bad habit.” You said with an apologetic smile.

 “Oh, d-don’t worry, really, I’ve only been here about 5 minutes myself.” He stood up and put away his iPod, “so…where to?”

 “Uhhmmm….I don’t know haha…hmm…wanna just walk around and go into whatever store catches our attention?”

 “Ok, sure.”

 The two of you started walking in no particular direction with no particular plan for the day; some small talk was made and a few laughs were shared. You learned that Tavros had an older brother attending a local college and that he was a bit of a gamer, he mostly liked card games, but nothing wrong with a little Assassin’s Creed to kill some time. You told him about yourself too, how you also had an older brother, divorced parents, and a few of your own likes and dislikes. As you passed by the music store Tavros’ head was fixated on the store even as you moved, “We can go in if you want you know?” You said, it made his head whizz back to look at you, and he nodded.

 “You got into the store and became surrounded by hundreds and hundreds or Vinyl records and modern-day CDs. One of the walls in the store was dedicated entirely to t-shirts with song lyrics, logos, or other things that had to do with the band or musician. You snaked around the room and both of you stopped by the rap section.

 “You like this shit too?”

“Oh yes, but I mainly enjoy rap songs with deeper lyrics to them or some kind of background…something like… Mockingbird by Eminem” He got closer to the table with the different levels of CDs and began to go through them, sometimes unconsciously making a weird face whenever he came across one he didn’t like.

“Yeah I gotta agree with you on that one motherfucker, but nothing like a good bootyshaker for those more upbeat moments” That made Tavros laugh, and nodded. You started to look through the CDs as well, Eminem, Tupac, Drake, Insane Clo….AW. HELL. NAW.

 “What?” Tavros looked at you all confused, and then followed your disapproving gaze onto this unholy CD for a group called Insane Clown Possy. Truth be told, you used to love these motherfuckers as a kid, but then you grew up and grew wiser and realized what SHIT taste you had when you were 13. It was like when John realized how bad Con Air really was and practically went in this ranting-shock-mode for days.

 “I didn’t think you’d be one to be scared of a wittlu clown,” teased Tavros.

 “I’m not scared of clowns! This just so happens to be one of the worst motherfucking groups I’ve had the dishonor to listen to.” You put back the CD, but at the very back of it’s row, just like many others do with the CDs and records they didn’t like.

 Tavros smirked at your reaction, and action, and kept walking around the store. He stopped by some tables that had older music and enthusiastically looked over them. “Oh man, nostalgia city right here Gamz… Eiffel 65, Gorillaz, Nirvana, Alice in Chains… oh my god, it’s freaking Aqua!”

 You quickly walked over to where your bro was and searched for the nostalgia too, “Nice taste bro, I fucking loved Gorillaz for so long, I still do, but it’s not quite the same anymore…Karkat loves Nirvana…as for Aqua, proud to say I did my fair share of childish bootyshaking to Barbie Girl.”

 Tavros laughed again and smacked you lightly on the arm; you noticed he had been laughing and smiling a lot, including since you first became friends, and you liked it; you enjoyed being the clown amongst your friends because you liked making people laugh. It was a genuine laugh as well, not a hollow laugh like some people do just to ‘be nice’ when in reality they could not be more bored or awkward around you…kind of like what Equius used to do when you first became friends… you met him through Nepeta in grade 5, they’re still best friends to day, inseparable really, but as friendly and clownish as you were Equius was always a little too serious for your jokes…eventually you got him to warm up to you, so now you do get more genuine laughter from him.

 It was easy with Tavros; you became friends quickly, you warmed up to each other quickly, and now you’re starting to learn more about him too, and so far, there’s nothing you don’t like about this mohawked little fucker. 

 “I’ve always loved music, even learned how to play the guitar, and I’m pretty decent if I do say so myself!”

 “Really?! Oh sweeeettttt, I know how to play too! Mannn we could have the most legit jam session someday!”

 “Totally! You know Death Cab for Cutie? I love playing their songs when I feel mellow.”

 “Yeah I like em, we could play together.” You said with a wide smile across your face, “OH MY GOD! NSYNC!”

 “HAHA WHAT? Oh my god I love this section. I was never a huge fan but I heard their songs so often that I can still remember how to sing Bye, Bye, Bye.”

 “shiiiit, that’s so hot; what a cool kid.” You said with a playfull wink and let out a honking laugh, “nothing like a man who knows his oldschool rap and boybands.”

 “Oh totally. Getting all the lady with my sick fires.”

 Neither of you bought anything from the store in the end, but you had a good time discussing music anyways. Now you were aimless once again; you walked and walked until you saw the pet store ahead and dashed over to it, with Tavros following your trace at a quick pace.

 “Dawwww look at the puppyyyyyy! Ubuabuabua” You smiled at the puppy in the window and caught his attention. It came half running, half wobbling towards you and licked the glass on the spot where your nose was.

 “They are pretty cute.” He said with a smile and putting his glass on the window, which the puppy attempted to lick too.

 “C’mon, let’s go in!”

 “Ok…I just can’t get too close to any cats though… allergic as hell.”

 You entered the store before him and analyzed your surrounding to see if it was cat-free – or for the cats to at least be behind some glass – so that Tavros could come in too without leaving with his face looking like Karkat’s after he watched Titanic. Motherfucker was red and puffy and his face was all wet from tears….it was cute though, in a way.

 “Coast is clear Tavbro,” you beckoned him with a finger and he entered the store; you looked at the puppies and gushed over how cute they were, but that’s when you saw it, as if a messiah in the mirthful carnival above shone a spotlight upon its little trunk in its cage. The cutest, most bitchtits, motherfucking snake.

 “Holy shit.” You kneeled down to be at eye level with the little serpent; there were another 2 snakes in the cage, one of them looked about the same size while the other was clearly full grown.

 “They’re still pretty new; just hatched about 2 weeks ago – one boy and one girl – and that’s the father actually; sold the mother already.” Said one of the workers in the store.

 Your eyes glazed over as you stared at them. They were just soooo cool. You had always loved reptiles, especially snakes, but your parents never allowed you having one, even after the divorce your mother was adamant on NO snakes whatsoever, saying they could be dangerous enough as it is and your sopor would make you too cloudy to take proper care of anything. Fuck that shit.

 “I think this one likes you, keeps staring at you haha…hmm…you wanna buy her?”

 “Hell yeah…but I can’t…unless I want my mother scolding my ear off. Plus all the care and stuff…I just don’t have the money on me at the moment, especially when I can’t ask for some, and obviously dad will be no help.” You sighed and stood up, still looking at the little dragon. Tavros tugged your wrist to guide you out of the store before it was too late.

 You started to get a little bored at the mall, and you remembered that besides this being a hangout, it had a _very_ important purpose too. It was time to get to the bottom of this fucking mess from the past.

 “Hey Tav, wanna go get some fresh air at the nearby park? There’s not much left to do here.”

 “Uhmm….sure, that’s fine with me.” He said with a small smile and a nod.

 You walked a few blocks and entered the local park. You were thankful for the nice weather; It was still early September, so some of August’s warmth was still present, but a nice crisp breeze was beginning to cool the air around you. Tavros was going on about something to do with his time in London? You weren’t sure, you felt really guilty for not paying any attention, but you had other things in your mind that you really needed to get out there.

 Nerves were starting to kick in a bit, so you took out a small ziplock bag from your jeans pocket with the joint and lighter; you grabbed the little roll of miracles and lit it up, you started out with small puffs and then took a deep, long one, but then you noticed tavros staring at your green friend.

 “Hmm? Wanna try some bro?” You asked, offering him the joint.

 “No thanks I’ll pass…didn’t you smoke one this morning already? Karkat told me you smoke that as much as Dave drinks apple juice…and that seems to be a lot.”

 “Karbro just worries tooooo fucking much sometimes.” You took in the sopor and slowly let the smoke seep through your lips, “It’s nice to have someone worry for me…besides Kurloz at least…but it’s ok. Karkat needs to unbunch his panties sometimes.” You said with a soft giggle.

 You passed by a small playground filled with kids playing and laughing; you saw 2 of them playing on the monkeybars and smiled, and without even realizing it, you just stopped. One of the kids reminded you of yourself when you were his age, and his friend had shaggy brown hair like the boy you once knew. Your subconscious changed their faces, and now suddenly you were witnessing yourself and your old friend play just like you used to; nostalgia pulled at your stomach and heart, and you just wanted to know, you _needed_ to know so that you could be in peace again.

 “Gamz?....Gaaammzee?...GAMZEE!” Tavros shook your shoulder and brought you back to reality so you would start moving again.

 “Oh, my bad bro, did I space out again?”

 “Yes, yes you did.”

“Sorry, sometimes it happens, I’m a daydreamer, Mr. Nitram, and as such I must keep my mind’s eye open and miraculous…aaaannnnd sometimes a little sopor makes me a little gone.”

 “Uh…I-if you don’t mind me asking, how long have you been smoking?”

 “Hmm…14 or 15?”

 “ _Fourteen?”_ Asked Tavros incredulously.

 “Yeah…like I was saying earlier, my household got kinda broken while I was still young…the divorce, mom always working, my brother turned part-time father, bad grades, you name it…it’s no big deal though, I can control myself, so no harm done.”

 “Did you just get curious one day?”

 “Not exactttlyy…Once you’ve gone through all the emotional bullshit I’ve gone through you kinda start looking for a good escape…sopor calms me…it numbs me…it transports my mind into a mirthful carnival in the skiiesss.” You reached your arms up for emphasis and dramatization, then lowered them and rested one of your arms around Tavros’ shoulders. “And paired with some Faygo?? The wicked elixir my friend. It’s part of my happiness you know?”

 “I see.” Answered Tavros. You decided to sit at a nearby bench just and just chill there for a little while.

 “No need for an escape huh?” You asked him.

 “Not that I can think of… I’m content with my life. I have great parents, a brother I get along surprisingly well with, even during childhood; the incredible luck to have lived abroad, good grades, and great friends,” when he said that he lightly messed with your hair and you laughed. “I don’t feel the need for any of that really.”

 “Aw shucks Tav, you’re gonna make a motherfucker blush!”

 He laughed again, the warm genuine smile you had been hearing this whole time, the laugh you realized you loved to hear, this was it, now or never…

 “Hey Tavros…”

 “Hmm?” he looked at you with kind, happy eyes.

 “Do you remember me?”

 His smile contorted a little into a questioning slant, and he looked completely lost… not good… “Uhm…pardon? Do I remember you? Gamzee what are you asking?”

 “11 years ago.”

 “W-what?”

 “6 years old…11 years ago. We were motherfucking bros for life weren’t we? Don’t you remember? I mean, I didn’t remember myself, but I kept feeling something whenever I saw you or spoke to you like…it was so natural! And and you just made me remember him, my friend…you”

 “G-Gamzee…w-what are you talking about? I don’t understand…I think you should throw away the joint…”

 “Motherfucker it ain’t the fucking drug!” You grabbed his shoulders tightly and looked him straight in the eyes, “Tavros…do you remember me? Do you remember us?”

 “Wait…wait wait wait… you’re telling me…that I remind you of a best friend from way back when…and he left…”

 “Yeah he did…and…you…him…I…” It was so hard get the words out for some reason; you wanted to just blurt everything out but something else was holding you back telling you to shut the fuck up.

“Ok so he left…and you never saw him again, and then I show up and you keep getting déjà vu every time you see me?”

 “YES!”

 “Wow…Gamzee…I…” His eyes softened in a gloomy way, which you understood as a sign of Tavros beginning to remember too, a sign that this was your friend, your Tavbro.

 You hugged him, “I missed y-” You realized he wasn’t reacting to your hug, and if anything, he felt extremely tense in your embrace. You backed off but kept your hands on his shoulders as you tried to re-examine his emotions.

“Wow…you…you’re a real piece of work Gamzee Makara.”

 Something was wrong, terribly wrong. Your name felt like a dagger being spit out of his mouth; you had never felt so horrible feeling your name being said by him. But he still sounded upset, despite the hints of sharpness to his words. “H-huh? Tavb-”

“Stop.” His eyes regained the cold, stern look you had seen in them the first time he walked into class, but this time it wasn’t ‘normal’, it was more…angry…what happened…what did you do wrong? He grabbed your wrists and took your hands off of his shoulders. “Real nice Gamzee…how long had you been planning this _hang out_ hmm? S-since my first fucking day? Was this it all along Gamzee? Was all this just so you could interrogate me about my past? Our past? No…YOUR past?”  
  
“Tavros…”

 “N-no…Don’t…h-here I was, naïve enough to…to th-think that I had made some new friends, a great friend in you; you’re right Gamzee, it did feel natural, and I was happy about that because I was getting along so well with you, and I was so happy to have made new friends in such a short time. B-but this was all just a…a…A SET-UP!”

 You flinched at the raise of his voice and were about say something only to be cut off by the angry boy again, “this was all just a set-up s-so that you could find out if your long lost buddy was fucking me! Fucking Tavros Nitram!...y-you…y-you never saw me did you? YOU NEVER FUCKING SAW ME AFTERALL DID YOU MAKARA?”

 “Tavros calm down! That’s not motherfucking true and you know it! I mean yeah ok, I was hella curious to know if you were him or not, but whether you were or weren’t it wouldn’t have mattered! You’re still you and you’re still my friend! I just wanted to know!”

 “You wanted to know? You wanted to know or you _needed_ to know?...I just…I…I just served as a memory to you…that’s why you befriended me in the first place wasn’t it? C-cuz I reminded you of him? What, was his name Tavros too?”

 “I don’t remember.”

 “Guess I didn’t do a good enough job then…I really thought…No…Well, at least it’s nice to know where I really stand for you. You spoke to me because I reminded you of someone, you befriended me to learn more, and you bonded with me to know for sure; but that’s ok.”

 “Tavros…I’m sorry. But really it’s no big deal! I mean…I AM sorry, I really am if I hurt you,”

 “IF?”

“Tavros what else do you want me to fucking say?! Yes you reminded me of my friend, yes I wanted to get closer to you to know, but you know fucking what? You’re one cool motherfucker who I like spending time with and either way I want you to still stick around.”Tavros remained silent, and the silence scared you more than his yelling, then suddenly he just stood up, “I don’t know.”

 You hated this situation, and you hated the fact that you were honestly starting to get a little irritated with Tavros.

 “Gamzee I don’t want to feel like a clone.”

 “You’re not a clone…”

 “Aren’t I?... I want someone to be friends with me because they honestly want to.”

 “Are you saying I’m not being honest about my friendship?”

 "…”

“Forget I asked.”

 Tavros walked right in front of you and stared at you blankly, “All my life I had been remembered or known by something or someone else… Rufioh’s little bro…Rufioh’s “miny-me”, mohawk kid, the kid with that rare pokemon card or yugi-oh card, that one guy who stutters a lot, something…rarely was it ever just plain ol’ Tavros…and finally I thought this was one of those very rare occasions where I WAS seen as Tavros Nitram…17 year old Tavros Nitram…but I wasn’t…who else knew?”

 “I only spoke to Karakat about it…since he was…there too, back then…”

 “Alright...ok…” He turned around and started to slowly walk away, then suddenly stopped; he balled up his hands into fists and loosened them again; he spoke, but didn’t face you, “11 years ago… Gamzee Makara, Karkat Vantas and Tavros Nitram…inseparable, best friends, best bros in the whoooole wide world…we played here a lot actually…Rufioh had to run to the playground one time to get me off the monkeybars…got paralyzed from vertigo…never a fan of heights…I had messy brown hair that would sometimes cover my face and was obsessed with Peter Pan…you always loved the circus…carnivals…anything festive…One day my dad got a job offering and eventually we had to move.”

 You stared wide-eyed at the back of his head, you weren’t even sure if you were breathing at that moment. Finally Tavros turned around and faced you, “Then I came back and by pure chance I ended up in the same high school as you 2…To be honest I wasn’t too sure myself…but the more I thought about the more I realized it was true…that you 2 were my buddies from back then.

 “If you knew why didn’t you say anything?”

 “Because it didn’t matter…and I mean it in the way that…we rapidly became friends again, and everything was going just fine, and even freaking Karkat started warming up to me already. I didn’t feel the need to bring up the past so out of the blue. I didn’t think it would have made a difference. I didn’t think it was such a big deal.”

 “Not a big deal?! Tavros we were best friends!”

“But Gamzee think about it! Clear your fucking thinkpan for just one moment!...What difference would it have really made had I said something? What would have been so different from 3 days ago if you knew compared to if you didn’t?”“I…uhm…”

 “Exactly…It’s been 11 years Gamzee…11…and once again I wasn’t seen as what and who I am TODAY…not even by you…that’s what hurt me Gamzee…that even to you of all people, im not 17 year old Tavros Nitram…your first impression was 6 year old kid from my past…that one friend I had…”

 You had never thought about it that way…shit…you really blew this up…you should be ecstatic that you found him, that it really was him. You should both be hugging and laughing and crying from happiness over a friendship that once was and the reunion…but who were you kidding…Tavros was right…you really did like him as a friend…but it’s true…you started talking to him because of the feeling at the pit of your stomach…you continued more ever since the dream… and everyday your curiosity and need grew more and more…and now look at what you did…you ended up hurting him.

 “I think I’m gonna go home home now Gamzee…Bye”

 And with that he left…the boy you lost for 11 years of your life…once again all you were able to do was watch him leave until he was no longer visible to you.

“Tavros…don’t leave…not again.”

 


	4. TM 33: Reflect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH I'M SORRY  
> I just recently finished all my final exams and I am POOPED, and completely drained of all inspiration...  
> I know this chapter is pretty short when compared to the others, but besides the lack of inspiration at the moment, it's also because I already started working on the next chapter, and had I not cut it here, it would've been too long of a chapter, and had I continued it would've ended akward.
> 
> Once i finish the next chapter in a few days, I'll revise this one and see if I can add part of the next one into it or just let it be
> 
> SO....HAVE SOME FLUFFY BRO TIME WITH KARKAT  
> in honor of the moirallegiance that once was :')

* * *

 

CG: FUCKASS, YOU COMIN TO SCHOOL?

CG: HELLO?

CG: GAMZEE IT’S GONNA BE ADVISORY SOON

CG: GAMZEE IT’S BEEN 3 FUCKING DAYS! WHERE THE AMERICAN-AIRLINES-FLYING-FUCKS ARE YOU?!

CG: WHAT HAPPENED?

CG:  TALK TO ME YOU LITTLE SHIT

CG: PLEASE?...

You grumbled from under your sheets and took a peek at your phone; more texts from Karkat. You hadn’t shown your face in public since your fiasco with Tavros, and by the looks of it you were really starting to worry your little bro. As if you didn’t feel like enough of an ass already.

Normally you were pretty chill and laid back and barely anything got your motherfucking gears grinding, so why were you such a wreck all of a sudden? Could it be because your best friend from your glue-eating days had suddenly shown up? Perhaps the fact that although you weren’t sure before, it really was him? Or maybe it was how even though you tried having a beautiful, sentimental reunion with your buddy, you ended up making him feel like an unexpected copy of himself? Well…so what?! Why were you getting so caught up in this?! All you had to was apologize to the mohawked boy and that was that right?

“*siiiiiiigh* The why does it feel a lot more complicated than that?”

You didn’t mean to make him feel like you befriended him out of a memory, even if the memory was still him; you weren’t gonna lie, you found this whole mess and Tavros’ tantrum a little confusing, but, just because you didn’t understand it yourself and you felt like you personally wouldn’t have minded, it didn’t mean it wasn’t an important issue. It really bothered Tavros, so of course it was important to you.

You sighed again and grabbed your phone once more, Karkat tends to give good advice on important stuff, and this qualifies as important stuff, besides, you felt like you owed the guy an explanation for your sudden absence.

TC: HeY KaRbRo

Only about a minute had passed when you felt your phone ferociously vibrate, as if channeling your friend’s own aura.

CG: FINALLY. LOOK WHO DECIDED TO ANSWER ME. WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN NOOKWHIFFER?!

TC: MaN, IvE JuSt BeEn DoWn In tHe MoThEr FuCkInG dUmPs :o( GoT AlL tHiS cRaP FlOAtInG iN mY tHiNkPaN MeSsIn WiTh Me

CG: WELL I GUESSED AS MUCH…WHAT HAPPENED? WAS IT SOMETHING WITH NITRAM? HE’S BEEN KINDA DISTANT LATELY. STILL GLUED TO ARADIA AND THE OCCASSIONAL NEPETA WHEN SHE ESCAPES EQUIUS’ OVERPROTECTIVENESS.

A slight frown made it’s way into your lips as you felt the corners of your mouth tug down.

TC: YeAaAh :o( I dOnT rEaLlY kNow WhAt I DiD wRoNg BuT…MaN DiD I Do It WrOnG…

CG: WANT ME TO COME OVER? I HAVE A FEELING THIS WILL BE A LOT EASIER IN PERSON

TC: Ok KaRbRo

You let go of your phone and pulled your blanket over your head again, enveloping yourself in the fuzzy, calming, sheltering darkness it provided. You almost fell asleep, but the doorbell’s ringing woke you back up as it rang throughout the house, followed by a knocking to your room’s door soon after. You gingerly stood up from your bed, still a little groggy, and opened your door.

“ _Karkat’s downstairs. He’s in the livingroom waiting.”_ Signed your older brother.

“Yeah ok, thanks Kurl.” You said, as you stepped out of your room and into the corridor.  
  
 _“Are you ok brother? You’ve been acting very unsual, I’ve hardly seen you these past few days.”_ He asked with a concerned look.

You simply shrugged, looking down, and told him not to worry so much with a pat on the shoulder. You made your way downstairs and into the livingroom, where Karkat was waiting on the big sofa. He looked up and immediately stood up, quickly walking towards you.

“Are you going to tell me what happened now?”

“Mhm, let’s go to my room.”

You went back up to your room with Karkat following and shut the door behind you.

“Oh jesus fuck! Blahj, Gamzee how many joints have you smoked today?!” Said Karkat, pinching his nose once he entered your room. You had forgotten to open the window, but in your defense you had only smoked 2…maybe 3…and a half…

The two of you sat on your bed in complete silence, until Karkat broke it.

“So… I guess we should start from the beginning… what exactly happened when you met up with Tavros?”

It took you a moment to start, but once you did, you weren’t able to shut up, you might’ve even rambled a bit, and you sure as hell didn’t give Karkat the chance to even say a peep. Finally you started to slow down, you took a deep breath, and looked expectantly at your friend next to you.

He stared at you wide-eyed, and then looked down to his hands on his laps, “Well…that really was fucked up…hmm…”

“I just wanted to know Karbro; I was so happy to find out it WAS him, and now I just miss him again…”

Karkat closed his eyes and crossed his arms as he thought about what to say, “Well, it’s obvious you gotta apologize to the guy for what happened, and really explain yourself to him. It is confusing, but I can kinda see why he got so upset back there…nobody wants to live in someone else’s shadows…I mean how would you feel if people only knew and remembered you as “Kurloz’s kid brother” or as someone you were years and years ago. Like, what if you had won a pie eating competition 3 years ago, and you weren’t into that stuff anymore but people only knew you and WANTED to know you because you’re that guy who ate 30 apple pies in 20 minutes?”

“Well…if you put it that way with motherfucking examples and all… I guess I can see why Tavbro got his hate on with me back then…UGH!” you fell backwards on your bed and covered your face with your hands. “I don’t like feeling this stressed out! It ain’t me Karbro!”

You felt your sheets shifting and ruffling as Karkat laid down beside you, “This is what happens when you care about someone or something Gamz. Because it makes you happy, it can also make you sad.”

You turned your head to the left to face Karkat, who was staring at your ceiling; you stared at him for a few seconds, processing what he had just told you. You did care about Tavros, and you were sad…a bitter smile crept its way onto your face. Karkat was your voice of reason, your pacifier, and everything else that made you feel like one lucky bastard for having him as your best friend since forever.

Red-hued irises met your own Indigo eyes as Karkat turned; he lifted his hand and papped your head, “Don’t worry you little shit, it’ll be fine. Just talk to him soon before things get even worse.”

“I will.”

“It is pretty cool though…that it was him after all.”

You nodded and wrapped the shorter guy in a huge bear hug. Karkat was frozen and stunned at the sudden action at first, but once he registered what was going on his body melted into the embrace and he even hugged you back a little. You buried your face in his shaggy, raven hair and murmured a thanks, which gained you a nod as a response. The shorter teen then went back to papping the top of your head once more. If you could purr, you would, the action was very calming and comforting, and you loved it.

Karkat stayed with you for a couple of hours more, then went back home before it got too dark, plus he needed to do his homework for the next day. You walked with him to the front door and waved goodbye; he lived only 10 minutes away from you by feet. You went back in and noticed Kurloz leaning on the railings at the top of the stairs.

“ _Better?”_

“Yeah.”

_“Good :o) My turn to make dinner tonight.”_

“Alrighty.” Before going back to the confines of your room you made a quick stop by the fridge to grab a Faygo. Once back in your bed you began to slowly sip your sugary beverage as you replayed Karkat’s words in your head

_This is what happens when you care about someone or something Gamz. Because it makes you happy, it can also make you sad._

You bit your bottom lip and put the bottle of Faygo on your bed-side table, pausing for a second with your hand hovering over your cellphone; you decided to go through with the action and picked it up. The screen lit up on your face and you maneuvered your thumb over the screen to select Contacts and start your search for his name. Once located, you started your text message…or so you wished; instead you stared blankly at your phone, as if the text was going to miraculously write itself and all you had to do was wait. You shook your head and got your fingers to finally start typing away.

TC: HeY TaVbRo… LiStEn MaN iM SoRrY aBoUt WhAt hApPeNnEd :o( I ReAlLy didn’t mEaN tO uPsEt Ya BrO…wE nEeD To tAlK.

You quickly pressed send before you had the chance to chicken out tonight and rested your phone on top of your chest. You laid motionless in bed with your eyes closed as you waited for an answer. After about 15 minutes you were beginning to lose hope when your phone vibrated, making your heart and lungs shake inside your body.

AT: wHEN?

TC: ToMoRrOw AfTeR sChOoL?

AT: oK

You hated getting these short, snappy answers, and you could tell Tavros was still a little upset with you, but you were very glad he at least accepted to talk after school. You were going to explain yourself as best you could. No way were you losing this motherfucker again, especially since this time you could at least fight for him to stay.

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

The last school bell rang and you booked your ass out of the classroom. Advisory and P.E had been very awkward for you. Tavros wouldn’t talk to you, let alone make eye contact for a single second, and it made your stomach churn. Karkat was right though, Aradia and him were glued to each other and she seemed to be the only one who could make him more-or-less genuinely laugh. You hated to admit it…but you were feeling kinda jealous.

As you walked towards the doors you spotted Karkat standing by some tables, probably waiting for Terezi; he noticed you and waved you over, taking off his headphones as well. 

"Hey fuckass...where's Tavros?"

"I'm gonna wait for him outside; I don't know where he is at the moment."

"Oh, ok. Think it'll go well?"

"I hope so Karbro, I really do. My whole motherfucking aura has been suffering with all this bullshit, to the point even sopor can't fully calm me down. I'm a mess! I just wanna make things right with him again."

"Mhm, good luck Gamz. Just remember to make yourself clear to him. I suggest no sopor prior to said conversation."

You chuckled and nodded. You said your goodbyes to Karkat and continued walking; you waited for Tavros outside of school near the main entrance, feeling a little nervous over the fear that he might not show up in the end. _Naw, Tav wouldn’t leave me hangin’ like that…_

As if on queue there he was, exiting the school with Kanaya and Aradia; you gave them a small wave but only the two girls waved back. Tavros turned to them, probably to tell them he’d be walking with you today, and waved them goodbye. He walked towards you, hands in his jacket’s pocket, looking down at the ground in front of him the whole time, and only when he reached you did he rise his gaze to meet yours.

“H-hello Gamzee.” He said quietly.

“Hey Tav…listen, once again, I am really sorry bro.”

“Yes I know…what did you want to talk about?”

“Uhm…can we go somewhere else first?”

“Yeah, alright.”


End file.
